Have you ever wondered if there are toxic people in your group of friends?
You may have noticed that for some people you are never good enough and you shouldn’t try to seek their approval. It doesn’t matter how successful you get, there are some people who will always find something wrong with it.
Also, you may know some people who will make you feel guilty for all your successes just because their life isn’t going as good as yours.
You should try to avoid such people as they can do real harm to your overall well-being. In a long run, they not only affect you emotionally, but also physically. Constant stress and belief that you do something wrong, although you may not be doing anything wrong, leads to worse physical health, as well.
Also, recent studies have shown that if you are in a relationship with a negative person, you are more likely to get diabetes and heart diseases.
Some people become negative because they haven’t experienced anything good or kind in their lives. For example, they may have been brought up in dysfunctional families, lacked their parents’ attention or were bullied at school. Thus, they were not taught how to manage their emotional life.
In order to find out whether you are in a constant contact with toxic people, you need to recognize the main signs, which we list down below.
- They blame you for bad things happening in their lives. Toxic people do not treat themselves as responsible for their own emotions. They rather make other people guilty because they are not happy enough. You may be positive all day but a toxic person tells you that you are gloomy and angry. They do so because they turn their own emotions onto somebody else.
- They believe that they are right all the time. They believe that their opinion is the correct one. Whatever you do, toxic people will treat your actions as wrong. They will prove that they are right even if they have to lie, change facts or challenge what you remember. Toxic people never accept their mistakes.
- They don’t pay attention to your limits. If you ask a toxic person not to behave in a certain way, they will keep doing it on purpose. Also, they expect and actually demand you to help them even if you have other things planned. They can walk all over you and don’t feel any shame for doing so. Healthy relationships cannot be built between people if at least one of them doesn’t pay attention to boundaries set by his partner.
- They are dishonest. Negative people always lie, even if it is about things which don’t even matter that much. When they tell stories, they either exaggerate too much or embellish. The reason why toxic people lie is because of their low self-esteem. They try to lift themselves up by telling false things to others in order to appear better in their eyes.
- They never apologize. They don’t accept that they are wrong. Toxic people rarely apologize and if they do so, it is because they want to get something. They use apologies for their own selfish motives.
- They enjoy playing the victim’s part. In order to get attention and sympathy from others, toxic people have learnt that the best way to do so is to play a victim. They put blame on others and don’t take responsibility for their own actions. For example, if they are late to work, they will blame someone else who didn’t wake them up. They didn’t do their job because no one told them to do it. They play a grown-up child who everyone has to take care of.
- They are sarcastic. When you use sarcasm rarely, it is funny, but if you overdo it, you can really hurt others. Toxic people use sarcasm in order to manipulate people. They express their anger and weakness through it. In everything they say there is something sarcastic. They are used to using sarcasm so much that sometimes they even forget that they deeply hurt people even if they have no intentions of doing so.
- They don’t listen to others. If you have something important to say, toxic people will change the subject. They are not interested in other people’s opinions or subjects. They don’t respect people who are talking as they wish to be the center of attention.
- They act as if they care about you. They would only do it for one purpose – to get something from you. They have their own goals and they are not afraid to step on other people in order to reach them. It can really trick you as you may think that a person is truly concerned about you when in fact he does it only to know details about you in order to hurt you.
- They criticize everyone. If a person talks bad about others in front of you, it is a high chance that he talks bad about you when you are not around, too. They talk about other people’s bad habits in order to look better. Instead of focusing on good qualities, toxic people find something bad in all people.
- They make you wonder if your decisions are the right ones. Whatever you do or say toxic people will question it. Thus, you get the feeling that you can’t be yourself around such people because your opinion or behavior is always met with some criticism.
- Their behavior is inconsistent. Toxic people may say one thing today and tomorrow their opinion changes completely. When they are angry and you ask them what is wrong, toxic people will say nothing and give you another sign that something is bothering them. Then you will try to do something to lift their mood up, which is exactly why toxic people behave in this way.
- They don’t care what is important to others. Toxic people will find something bad to say about things which are important to you. For instance, if you plan to go on vacation, toxic people will say that the weather is going to be terrible. Or if you get a promotion which was important to you, toxic people will say that now you will have to work double for the same salary. When you talk about what matters to you the most, toxic people will criticize it simply because they usually have no values and goals.
- They brag a lot. Toxic people tell you their achievements not to be happy about them but because they are actually very insecure. They seek approval from others and want to look better than those around them. Thus, they will make their achievements known to everyone even if they are the smallest or not important things.
- They don’t give but take. They consume all your time and attention without giving you a break if you don’t stop them. If you have a relationship with such a person, you constantly feel that you are the only one trying to make it work. Toxic people feel as if they deserve everything. In their eyes, you owe them a lot and they will make you believe it. It is a strongest form of manipulation.